Caught In The Middle: What To Do When Your Two Best Friends Are Going Through A Divorce
Watching as your best friends fight over child custody and who gets the house is painful. Yet, you keep finding yourself caught up in the drama when all you want to do is show support. While you might not be able to mend your friends' marriage, you can help keep your friendship with both parties by following these types for staying out of the worst of the fray.
Be Honest About Your Neutral Status
It is important to be honest about your intentions to keep both friends from the moment they tell you about the divorce. Avoid sneaking around and lying about whether or not you've seen the other one because the word will always get around. Instead, let your friends know that you refuse to get caught up in their arguments and prefer to keep your time together as neutral as possible. While your friend might want to vent about the divorce, it may be necessary to put a moratorium on any controversial topics such as infidelity.
Avoid Adding Fuel to the Fire
When a couple in your social circle divorces, it is bound to make some shockwaves. However, your best friends do not need to know all of the gossip about what other people are saying behind their backs. Nor do they need to hear about what their soon-to-be ex-spouse is saying. Refrain from gossiping, and repeat your commitment to a neutral status if one of your friends asks for information about what other people think. Telling them anything negative at this point will not do anything but antagonize the situation.
Redirect Negativity to the Right Source
Being a neutral party can sometimes make you feel guilty that you cannot give your friend total support, and it leads to awkward situations when you don't want to hear anything negative about your other friend. When this happens, it is important to have resources to which you can refer your friend. For example, family attorneys, such as Dramko Diane Attorney At Law, are the best place for your friend to turn when they want to vent about visitation arrangements. Talking to professionals is much more productive in the long run anyway than spewing negativity in your ear.
Dealing with divorce is hard for everyone. Yet, the role of a friend caught in between their two besties is often overlooked. While you may need to hang out with each one in different spaces, you can successfully keep both friendships intact by using a little discretion and remaining strong in your stance as a neutral friend.