Take These Steps to Avoid Delays in Your Divorce-Mediation Process
Most divorce mediators charge by the hour. This means that the longer you take, the more you will pay. You will also waste a lot of time and money attending endless mediation sessions. Here are three ways to prepare so your divorce mediation doesn't take forever.
Understand the Process
Few things will waste your time as much as using mediation to try to solve things that mediation cannot handle. For example, it's a waste of resources trying to prove that your partner wronged you; mediation isn't meant to prove who is right or wrong. Therefore, you need to learn the role of mediation (reaching a divorce agreement that works for both of you) beforehand so that you can stick to those issues during the process.
Prepare a List of Disputes
The mediation process involves negotiating contentious issues; each of you is expected to give and take with the help of the mediator. The mediator is there to ensure everyone is heard and to keep the talk focused on the issues at hand, but you have to come up with these issues. Your mediation process will go fast if you prepare these contentious issues beforehand so that you can go straight to the negotiations once your mediation session starts. Here are a few examples of contentious issues typical couples have:
- The value of a family business
- Who should have custody of the kids
- Who gets to keep the family home
- Whether a property belongs to both or one of you
- How much each person earns (for those in informal employment)
Your list is likely to be different from your partner's, so it's important that both of you prepare a list.
Know What You Can Accept
As already discussed, mediation is a negotiation process where each party gives a little and receives a little. However, your mediation will not progress fast if you don't know how much you are prepared to give or accept. For example, if you are willing to give up the marital home if you can keep the kids over the weekends, note that down. If you are willing to increase child support along with agreeing to reduced alimony, note that down too. In short, set clear goals so that you can move on to the next item on the agenda once you reach a resolution.
Hopefully, the above tips will help you navigate your mediation fast. However, don't forget that mediated divorce isn't for every couple; you can always resort to litigation if you can't seem to make any headway. For example, it may be time to cut your losses if you have a long list of contentious issues and can't agree on a single one of them after several sessions. Consult a divorce attorney, such as one from Eschbacher Law, to get started.