Surviving Divorce Court
Some couples are able to work out their differences ahead of time and create a workable divorce agreement, and some are not. If you and spouse find that you are unable to come to an agreement on certain divorce issues like the divisions of debt and property, child custody or visitation, you may need to let a family court judge decide for you. To help lessen the stress of a courtroom skirmish, read on for some tips to help you cope.
1. Before you head to divorce court, consider mediation. When you take into consideration the expense and time required to litigate your issues in court, you may want to at least give this method of conflict resolution a try. If you are already engaged in a court battle with your spouse, you can still use mediation to help work some issues out behind the scenes.
2. If you have children, try to protect them and keep them away from the courtroom as much as possible. Divorce is an incredibly stressful experience for children, and they don't need to have the situation made even worse by hearing your dirty laundry aired in court. This may also be a good time to mention that your behavior in court is on trial, and if child custody is one of your contested issues you would do well to ensure that you use respectful tones and behavior in court. Your parental fitness is being judged, even in the absence of your children.
3. Divorces that must be fought out in court can take time, and even those who know this ahead of time are often shocked at how often hearings and court sessions are delayed, continued, canceled and re-scheduled. At some point, you may want to add up the impact that both the time spent and the dollars spent to ague over some issues is costing you. Consider how compromising and ending the litigation will allow you an opportunity to get on with your life.
4. Attempts to punish a spouse's bad behavior in court seldom brings satisfaction. Be sure to stick to the issues and deal with your negative feelings with mental health counseling, not by trying to litigate blame. Alternately, be prepared to deal with the negative feelings and behavior or your soon-to-be ex by staying cool. Hotly contested divorces often bring out the worst in both parties, so stay aware of how non-productive your disagreements in court are toward your final resolution.
Speak to your divorce attorney, like Karie L. Sanoba, Attorney at Law, for more information about dealing with a contested divorce.