Handling The Holidays Without Your Kids: A Divorcing Parent's List Of Do's And Don'ts
The Christmas season is supposed to be the happiest time of year, but it can be the saddest for divorcing families. Seeing a custody lawyer about how you want the holidays to go in the future may be a part of the first holiday season when you are in the middle of a divorce. If this is your first Christmas without your kids, you may be dreading the holidays and unsure of how to react with all that free time that you formerly devoted to setting up things for Christmas morning. If you are facing a Christmas break where your kids are going to stay with your ex, here are the do's and don'ts for keeping it together during this challenging time.
Do Consider an Early Christmas
If you do not get to see your kids on Christmas Day itself, you don't have to miss out altogether. No child ever balked at the idea of having two Christmases. Double the holiday joy can be fun for any little one. Have an early Christmas that includes a full holiday meal, and you can even let them know that Santa is coming twice this year. They can wake up to presents under the tree and treats in their stocking. You can get it all on film, too, and you may choose to watch the memories on Christmas itself.
Don't Let Your Kids Know You're Alone
Even if you plan to spend your Christmas at home alone, don't let your children know that you will be alone or otherwise depressed at the holidays. Let your kids know that it is okay to enjoy themselves at Christmas without worrying about how you will be feeling. If children feel guilty about spending time with your ex and their new partner, kids can try to keep the Christmas joy out of their lives out of a misguided sense of loyalty to their other parent. Reassure your children that they should enjoy themselves, and that you will have fun, too.
Do Coordinate Some Shared Activities with Your Ex
During the Christmas season, try to include your ex in some of the holiday festivities that you share with your children. Not only is joining together and putting your children first a good thing for your kids to experience, but inviting your ex to festivities also encourages them to do the same for you. That can result in you both getting more time with your children. You can keep it simple, such as catching a holiday film together at the cinema. It will give your children a sense that you are still doing things as a family, yet you don't have to deal with the things that once troubled you about your ex for long.
Finally, keep in mind that you will find your way as you continue through the divorce. Be sure to contact a custody lawyer at a law firm like the Law Offices of Lynda Latta, LLC if you have any issues or concerns with how custody is handled in the divorce proceedings. You may be able to spend next Christmas with your kids and perhaps all future holidays, so don't lose heart if you miss out on a Christmas with your little ones.